What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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