well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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