She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
