Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize