Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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