just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
