This house was built for laser tag.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
