If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize