My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
