how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
