True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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