she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
