i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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