nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
