all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
