We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
should my penis look like a turkey
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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