I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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