absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
