found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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