she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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