All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
