We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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