who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
