Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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