It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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