I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
