He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
