I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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