how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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