Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize