I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
