if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize