just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
