i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
