well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
