You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
