ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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