failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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