i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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