we made out on top of his cat.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
