forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
that's an acceptable place to lick
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
