it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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