He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize