one two three fourrrrnication!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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