we have officially lost it.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
