we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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