which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
