You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
