I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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