Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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