I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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