I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
