We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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