It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
