dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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