I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
