i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
