Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
