I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
