I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
