Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
