Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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