So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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