you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
two words...techno handjob
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
