Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
