I must be too annoying 4 u.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
