As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
