kristin has been a bad kristin
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
