If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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